-
Campbell is speaking.
Who am I talking to? – Campbell asked slightly annoyed because
he couldn’t recognize the voice.
-
It’s me,
Michael, Julia’s husband. I apologize for calling, but I am in
a deep trouble and I thought you could help me.
-
Julia’s
husband? – Campbell asked.
-
Yes, I am
Julia’s husband. I know you haven’t been hanging around
together for a long time, but I decided to call you and ask you for
help. I found your number in Julia’s address book, as well as
the numbers of other members of your gang. Some of them she
continued seeing, to tell the truth very rarely, but still.
-
Did something happen?
– Campbell asked nicely, even though he was not enthusiastic
to talk about Julia.
-
Julia is in the
hospital; doctors are still fighting for her life. She tried to
commit a suicide, but fortunately did not succeed. –
Michael’s voice seemed so tired and he sounded lost.
-
How could I help?
– Campbell wanted to know.
-
Michael did not know
how to say what was on his mind, but he gained courage and said:
-
I thought, maybe you,
members of her old gang, could go and visit her in the hospital.
Maybe that could give her strength to recover sooner. Since she
split with you, splitting with others followed. In the beginning it
seemed that it did not bother her, but eventually she started
withdrawing into herself. It went so far that she left her job, she
didn’t want to leave the house, and only she stared through
the window. But, I won’t speak more, could you visit her in
the hospital?
-
I’ll try to
come. - Campbell said, not very enthusiastically. – I’ll
call the others and we'll probably come together. – He spoke
in a nice voice, but
inside he was troubled with a thought of a possibility to see Julia
again.
He
did not want to see her again. He did not think about her for a long
time and he thought he would never have to do it again.
-
Thank you and see you
soon. – Michael said and hung the receiver.
Campbell
remained in silence with a receiver in his hand. When he pulled
himself together he hung the phone and sat on a chair. He felt kind
of uneasy and it seemed he would loose again the inner calm that was
inside of him.
-
Julia. – He
repeated that name inside of him. Still, he wasn’t sure he
wanted to see her again. He did not even recognize the
Michael’s voice. God, how could this man stand living with
Julia? How could he stand all her outbursts? What did she do to keep
him? It would be the best to call Marc, and to ask him to inform the
others.
Marc
was very surprised when he heard the news. He did not expect someone
like Julia would try to commit a suicide. He said he would inform
the others and added it would be the best to meet in his apartment
the following day. They would prepare a dinner and see what they
would do. Campbell would be the cook, of course. He would phone
Campbell next morning to see what they would buy for dinner.
-------
Julia.
Beautiful, cold, always calculating, mean, or maybe even evil,
always wanting to know everything about everyone. Her wish to know
even the tiniest details about the others could never be hidden.
Only man would expect that all facts someone gathers of others, who
are by the way his friends, should be used to know someone better in
order to make their friendship more valuable. But in this case
hanging around together and living together in this house, even in
other places, became very tiring. It was very obvious that all the
facts Julia knew about others were used to grumble and to talk about
the faults of others. To tell the truth it is very strange to see
that someone is eager to meet somebody in order to argue with him
about his faults, or simply because of his points of view. Agonizing
were not only situations when there was certain conflict in the
presence of others. Even more agonizing were the scenes of her
screaming and shouting when she spoke of others, especially when
they were not present. Campbell could never understand that kind of
behaviour. What was the purpose of that? What is the attraction of
being with someone if it turns into torturing and suffering?
She
was a very beautiful woman; surely she would be more beautiful if
her character did not spoil her. She was always very careful not to
eat a bite more than she should, because she simply had to be thin.
She spent hours and hours preparing special food that was adored by
everyone but she never enjoyed the meals. She always waited for
others to comment her art of cooking, always listened carefully
whether someone would dare to say something bad, or something she
wouldn’t like to hear, so that she could start her fire. Those
attacks would not necessarily start immediately. The comments she
heard were used as a preparation for an attack to that person in
some other occasion. If anyone, God forbid, said something that
would not suit her, that would be added to the list of crimes.
She swooped down on people like a vulture.
Information
she had about others she did not use to improve her relationships,
but she used them to absorb people, as if she wanted to swallow
them. She simply had to have everything her way. Everyone had to act
the way she wanted. Very often people could not think differently.
She was always on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But somehow she
always managed not to cross the line into the total madness. But the
fact is that her mouth did a lot of harm and often what was done
could not be undone, or to be taken as a matter of a bad day.
Her
consciousness was always awaken, always ready to react even if
somebody would subconsciously have a wish to tell something against
her. The evil things she did to others came from her mind. Always
wanting to control the others, simply greedy to own everything and
everyone. Often we could feel her wish to mentally own everything
and everyone. Just like a vampire. She had to dominate everywhere.
Her behaviour was a proof that her friendships were not lasting
ones. Persons like Julia can never have a normal relationship with
other people. Because they simply have to dominate, and if other
person doesn’t want to accept her leadership, splitting
follows.
In
her appearance always rational, deep inside she must have been
imprisoned in her irrational world. And she simply could not control
that irrational world. She was always tense because of the need to
control herself. Often it seemed as she was obsessed, because none
of the friends ever understood why she was afraid to speak normally,
as if she was afraid that her inner chaos could pour out. Chaos
would sooner or later pour out and in such occasions it was
terrible. Agonizing.
Nobody
lasted as her friend. Something always happened that brought to an
end, even though there were rarely some big things. Everybody felt
something was going on with her and eventually everyone split with
her. Later they heard she
joined a sect that had something to do with magic. But then
they did not care any more.
To
hear that she tried to commit a suicide was not very pleasant, no
matter what. Why did she do it? Did she sink deeper when she joined
that sect? Who knows what she did, or what she wanted to do to
others. Who knows exactly what had happened. Did the evil things she
did to others haunt her? What happens to someone who chooses the
option to commit a suicide?
Thinking
about Julia, about himself and other members of the gang, he started
to realize that Julia simply lost herself and her way. Moreover if
she joined that sect and if she did things using magic. He felt
himself what it means to loose oneself, he knew what it means when
there is no more connection between what is inside of him and what
goes out of him. But still he was not sure he wanted to visit Julia.
He didn’t like the fact he was forced to think about her
again. No, he doesn’t want to see her. Why remember what
happened before? And then again what if she realized what she had
done? What if trying to commit a suicide was a desperate attempt to
save her? To leave the abyss she fell in? Did she deserve another
chance? He did not think it was up to him. He doesn’t know. He
can’t think any more.
What
happened to all of them? It seemed to Campbell that lives of most of
them were falling apart. His relationship fell apart. That’s
why he decided to spend some time alone. Marc’s marriage is
falling apart. Richard is married for the second time. Christine is
happily married to Paul. Their marriage seemed the only one that
functioned properly. Paul is the only one outside the gang
who gets along with everyone and the only one who is accepted by
everyone as if he’d been with them forever. Clive’s
marriage is also in crisis. Maggie can’t stay involved with
someone due to her job. Because of her frequent travelling, she is
rarely at home. Pat pretends, as everybody knows, that everything is
in order with her marriage. But that is the marriage of interest,
because they all know her husband, Philip, married her because she
is a daughter of rich parents. It is not easy to tell truth even to
best friends.
He
was sitting and thinking. – I will not think much about it.
– He thought. – I’ll see what the others will say
and we’ll decide together what to do in this situation.
– He concluded and decided to calm down.
Time
passed in silence. Suddenly he looked at his watch. It was four
o’clock in the afternoon. It was still very hot, but not as
hot as earlier that day. – Shall I go to the beach? – He
thought. – Yes, I’ll go down to the beach. Maybe
I’ll swim for a while. The sea will cool me off.
He
changed his clothes, took the towel and moved towards the door. For
a moment he considered to take something to read on the beach. Will
he read anything there? Lying on the sand his thoughts always
changed from one subject to another. He’ll try to read the
papers. There he can find something to read and try to think about
it. Good idea and a good test.
He
walked along the same path he walked in the morning on the way home.
He didn’t meet anyone, which suited him perfectly. He passed
by the graveyard and the church and in no time he was at the beach.
The sand was hot and he couldn’t walk barefoot. At the other
end of the beach he saw a couple talking. A man and a woman, young
ones, were sitting on their towels and they were talking quietly.
The man used a branch to write something on the sand, while he was
listening. Sometimes he would nod with his head or said something
looking at his partner. She put her arms around her knees, put her
head on the knees, and turned the face in his direction. She had a
gentle look on her face and seemed in love. Looking at them he saw
them standing up and going to the sea.
Campbell
would prefer to be alone on that beach, but he realized one quiet
couple in love would not bother him. At the beginning of the beach
there were several pine trees, old, tall trees that made shade. He
decided to sit under one of them. He put his towel on the ground,
took off his clothes and remained only in his trunks. He never liked
heath, but he decided to go into the sea and freshen up.
Once,
when they were younger, they used to come there for a picnic. They
prepared food on the beach, they ate, drank, played games, swam,
simply they enjoyed in the sun, sea and being together. Now he was
alone, but he decided not to think too much about what was once. He
moved towards the sea. The surface of the sea was shining. The sea
was calm, almost as if it didn’t move. Perfect. Stepping into
the sea he felt pleasant temperature of the water. It was a bit
cold, but that was only the first impression. When he was with all
his body in the sea, only few moments later, he realized not only
that the sea wasn’t cold, but perfect. Throughout his body he
felt the pleasant effect of the water. He enjoyed realizing he was
enjoying himself. For a long time he hadn’t had such feeling.
To enjoy in his feeling of enjoyment. He swam slowly towards the
open sea, not too far. He never liked swimming far from the coast.
He swam slowly for some time and then he turned towards the coast.
Those two in love were already out and were lying on their towels,
sunbathing. It seemed they enjoyed in the sun. Swimming he observed
the beach. Who knows how many times he saw scene that relaxed him.
It was a pleasant scene for his eyes, because the beach was really
beautiful; the sand was white, clean; the beach almost empty,
surrounded by the forest. It was pleasant for his ears as well. He
could hear the singing of many birds.
He
swam towards the coast and went out. Immediately he could feel the
heath. Still he decided to lye on the towel for a while, but soon he
moved from the sun. He took the papers and browse them hoping to
find something interesting to read. Doing it he felt tired and
decided to doze off.
He
was awaken by the bells of the church. It was late in the afternoon
and he knew soon would be a mass in the church. He dressed up and
moved towards the church. Passing by the church he heard the sound
of the organ, and decided to walk in. In front of the altar he saw a
priest Frank, and in the benches there were several locals, mainly
older ones. He sat on the bench and remained there till the service
was over. When it was over those few left and just before he wanted
to leave the priest approached, saluted him, and told him it was
nice to see him there, because, truly, he was a rare guest in the
church during the service. Promising him to come more often,
Campbell said goodbye to the priest and went home.
Silence
waited for him at home. He took the shower, changed his clothes and
decided to make something for dinner. Afterwards he went to the
terrace. Again peace, soft wind and the sea far away. Paradise.
